Jon Bon Jovi: The Justin Bieber of rock

Before I start, in this post I'll refer to him as John, since Jon is a fucking retarded way of writing it. BTW, I think this is gonna turn out a long post.

I love Bon Jovi, yeah, I really do but this guy has turned everything good they did into shit. Bon Jovi's albums have sucked since 1995, These Days was a great album, maybe their best, then everything gave a turned for the worst. John finally took over completly, they became his solo band and put everyone else in the backseat.. Funny thing is, John's the least talented in his band, take a look:

Tico Torres: He was a succesful studio musician many years before joining Bon Jovi. Fantastic drummer, one of my favorites.

David Bryan: He went to Julliard. Very talented piano player, he doesn't write too much for Bon Jovi but the songs he has written are very good, great vocals too.

Richie Sambora: Well, he's my favorite musician right now. He has written a big part of Bon Jovi hits and best songs. Better singer than John IMO, right now he sure is (i'll get on that later) and of course, his guitar playing is awesome, very tasty.

Then we have John, he used to be a good singer but sometimes a little too nasal for me; now? Mediocre at best, he hasn't been able to sing the high notes in some 15 years and the way he's singing now is horrible, I can't even figure out what he's saying most of the time. Shouldn't even mention his guitar playing, he strums like a cheerleader.

Somewhere in the early 2000's he decided he wanted to be involved in politics, oh boy, that was the end of everything good that band could do. All the fucking songs in the last 5 albums are about social stuff and everything is repetitive as hell, it gets old really quick, bitch, if you want to write about society at least be creative, the lyrics are terrible and that means the songs is terrible because all their songs now are lyrics centered (music is terrible anyway). Let's check that out:

• Work For The Working Man
  "Whos gonna work for the working man ? 
  Work for the working man" Genius.
  
  
• Army of One
  "Never give up 
  Never give up 
  Never 
  Never give up 
  Never let up 
  Ever 
  Never give in 
  You're an army of one" Rest of the song is that x40 
  
  
• Because We Can
  "I don't want to be another wave in the ocean
  I am a rock not just another grain of sand
  -That's what I want-
  I want to be the one you run to when you need a shoulder
  I ain't a soldier but I'm here to take a stand
  Because we can" Should be the sountrack of the next Barbie movie
  
  
• That's What The Water Made Me
  "That's what the water made me
  That's who I am and what I'll be
  That's what the water
  That's what the water made me
  There ain't no doubt about it" Ok, if you say so Mr. Dipshit.
  
  

I could've put the whole "What About Now" album, actually, the last 3 songs are from it, what a fucking ridiculous and horrible album that is. You have a great guitar player like Richie Sambora and you can hardly hear him on the album, I'm sure he doesn't even play on some songs, if I hadn't seen him play with them at the beginning of the year, I could've swore he was fired last year. The single "Because We Can" is so cheesy and bland, it sounds like a One motherfucking Direction song and that's how the whole album sounds really.

Do you know why Bon Jovi is the Justin Bieber of rock? Because he's a pretty face, the rest of the band gets overlooked because the girls just care about John shaking his ass at concerts, which I think it's ridiculous, I feel embarrased when he does that. In the same way as beliebers do, John's girls overlook everything bad about him and just like Bieber, Bongiovi has an ego of the size of the universe and is a major dick, fucking asshole, makes me want to $%!&$. 

Do I have to say why he's an asshole? I don't care, I will anyway.

1. 4 members, he gets 40-50% of the share, AT LEAST.
2. He charges $2000+ to meet him, for that price I expect to get a blowjob from him. If you buy that package you get an exclusive, wait for it, Bon Jovi CHAIR, ain't that lovely.
3. His lyrics, asshole.
4. He turned Bon Jovi into shit.
5. He says he's the CEO of Bon Jovi
6. He sucks at acting but he thinks he's great.
7. He fired Richie Sambora. Ok, we don't know exactly what happened but since he's an asshole, I'm gonna assume he did.
8. He's fake.
9. The stupid way he writes his name
10. His best acting was in Young Guns II, he was the blonde corpse in the box.
11. Girls cried when he cut his hair (Bieber, anyone?)
12. He broadcast the first 30 minutes of his concerts, you have to pay to see the rest.
13. He's a middle aged pretty boy.

There's much more where that came from. Still, Bon Jovi is one of my favorite bands, I hope he gets his head out of his ass and make peace with Richie, it just isn't Bon Jovi without him, I would never see them w/o him, rather see Bon Jovi without John, may aswell call it Sam Bora. As bad as they have sucked since Crush came out, there're some songs I really like, Everyday (one of my favorites BJ), You Want to Make a Memory, Thank You For Loving Me, All About Lovin' You, Undivided, Have a Nice Day, hell, I even like Who Says You Can't Go Home, even the country version.

Seeing the good songs they've put out really want me to have faith in them but I don't know if they're even Bon Jovi anymore, we don't even know if Richie Sambora will ever be back. Such a tragic ending for a great band like Bon Jovi used to be, I can just hope John remembers how the 80's and 90's John Bongiovi used to be, forget the politics and the social life and just get back to the basics.